Melancholy

I don’t really feel right. Is there something in the air, have I really done something to feel miserable about. This is the exact opposite of yesterday, infact earlier this morning was feeling good.

Started the day a little early, reached my office at about ten. Was mum’s birthday, but couldn’t get the courage to wish her until it was ten minutes to midnight! The normal routine, tea, cigarettes, phone calls, meetings, distributors, staff, smiling, shouting, screaming, yelling, cajoling etc. My driver didn’t turn up today as his wife’s sister wasn’t too well and admitted in the hospital, so had to drive during rush hour. That was the bad start I suppose and the fact that he called up at eight am to tell me that!

Sat through a dealer meeting staring at my laptop monitor, was a really busy day on the pc. I also got my domain registered, http://yasserrahman.com/ . That’s where my blog is housed from now on. Also had my best mate on the pc during the afternoon, we spoke quite a while, the lass is going through a tough time, but we had a nice chat and a few laughs. Felt great. We also talked about business etc, but that was more of a laugh then anything. I just want her to be happy with whatever she is doing, I ask for nothing more . More than happiness, I want her to be content.

Work was good, did the final touches on my big project, and it looks like its all set to roll. Still sat up at ten past three in the morning working and I really love it, just decided to do this entry because something was eating me up from inside. What? Well, I wish I knew fully myself.

I was texting a friend earlier this morning and generally for most of the day until the evening. I probably said something wrong, or something to strong. Well that’s what I think anyway. She isn’t in the best of spirits, and I hope and pray that I am not to blame. I hate falling out with people, especially such nice people, and over something so silly? I’m already hating myself for it. I’m really worried cause her mate sent her a very similar text and hasn’t spoken to her ever since, I hope its not the same here. But I’m not even sure if it’s because of me, I learnt that from my best mate, “Not everything is because of you” she says. To my other friend, I don’t know if you read this, but if you do, I’m really sorry if I have come across really strong. I just hope you get out of your troubles soon.

Had a social gathering at my aunt’s place this evening, was invited over for dinner. I spent an hour discussing the artificial real estate boom. Was a good change, but my head wasn’t really there, but more on the previous paragraph. Went back to the office after that. On the way back home, I stopped at a local store for cigarettes, was about two am at the time. I bought four packets and thanked the guy. He was drunk and told me not to thank him but to thank god instead for letting me have cigarettes when the whole city is sleeping! Got he thinking about it while driving back home. Got home, finishing the little work I have left and need to get in bed and be ready to face a new sunrise one more time.


There is Melancholy in the wind and sorrow in the grass