Melancholy

I don’t really feel right. Is there something in the air, have I really done something to feel miserable about. This is the exact opposite of yesterday, infact earlier this morning was feeling good.

Started the day a little early, reached my office at about ten. Was mum’s birthday, but couldn’t get the courage to wish her until it was ten minutes to midnight! The normal routine, tea, cigarettes, phone calls, meetings, distributors, staff, smiling, shouting, screaming, yelling, cajoling etc. My driver didn’t turn up today as his wife’s sister wasn’t too well and admitted in the hospital, so had to drive during rush hour. That was the bad start I suppose and the fact that he called up at eight am to tell me that!

Sat through a dealer meeting staring at my laptop monitor, was a really busy day on the pc. I also got my domain registered, http://yasserrahman.com/ . That’s where my blog is housed from now on. Also had my best mate on the pc during the afternoon, we spoke quite a while, the lass is going through a tough time, but we had a nice chat and a few laughs. Felt great. We also talked about business etc, but that was more of a laugh then anything. I just want her to be happy with whatever she is doing, I ask for nothing more . More than happiness, I want her to be content.

Work was good, did the final touches on my big project, and it looks like its all set to roll. Still sat up at ten past three in the morning working and I really love it, just decided to do this entry because something was eating me up from inside. What? Well, I wish I knew fully myself.

I was texting a friend earlier this morning and generally for most of the day until the evening. I probably said something wrong, or something to strong. Well that’s what I think anyway. She isn’t in the best of spirits, and I hope and pray that I am not to blame. I hate falling out with people, especially such nice people, and over something so silly? I’m already hating myself for it. I’m really worried cause her mate sent her a very similar text and hasn’t spoken to her ever since, I hope its not the same here. But I’m not even sure if it’s because of me, I learnt that from my best mate, “Not everything is because of you” she says. To my other friend, I don’t know if you read this, but if you do, I’m really sorry if I have come across really strong. I just hope you get out of your troubles soon.

Had a social gathering at my aunt’s place this evening, was invited over for dinner. I spent an hour discussing the artificial real estate boom. Was a good change, but my head wasn’t really there, but more on the previous paragraph. Went back to the office after that. On the way back home, I stopped at a local store for cigarettes, was about two am at the time. I bought four packets and thanked the guy. He was drunk and told me not to thank him but to thank god instead for letting me have cigarettes when the whole city is sleeping! Got he thinking about it while driving back home. Got home, finishing the little work I have left and need to get in bed and be ready to face a new sunrise one more time.


There is Melancholy in the wind and sorrow in the grass

Happiness

Man, it feels so great tonight. I don’t know why it is, just does. What’s making me so happy yes with a wee sense of insecurity? I decided to just sit back on this Sunday evening, sip on some beetroot juice and pull some nicotine into my lungs and think about it.

First, my mum’s birthday tomorrow, need to make it special for her, but how? I got no gift yet, and have no idea what to get. Going to be a really busy day at work tomorrow as well, so don’t know if I will be able to make it to a store to get her something. I think a nice hug before I go to work should be good enough?

A friend called just before dinner today. Man that made me so happy. I was kind off feeling alone and bored and she called! Lovely, made my night. Got asked by another friend if I had any feelings for her, well I guess not. She’s just a great lass and a great friend. But all the same, those are still feelings? Madness, these relationships sometimes have such a fine line and I wish they didn’t.

I have been stressing it out lately with work, but I really love what I do. I just can’t wait to see the day where it all pays off, but somehow I feel like an astronomer whose worked on sending a satellite into mars, digging up the planet, telling people that its possible to go live there, but no one goes!

The weather seems good, pleasant days and chilly evenings and nights. The bright city nights, it all seems just too good to be true. Just the fact that mosquitoes have been annoying me whenever I try to go to sleep, but I got a solution to that problem tonight.

Moved the furniture in my room around a little bit, got annoyed with the way it was. Found my USB wire to upload stuff from my Nokia 7710 to my laptop while moving the furniture around, so going to attempt to upload some pictures if I can find the installation CD.

Enough of my waffles I suppose hope I have a great week ahead of me. May I have patience and the inspiration to do whatever I need to do.

You can’t wait for inspiration; you have to go after it with a club.

Puppy Love

Sat in my bedroom waiting for somework to be finsihed , so decided to read through some random blogs. Read through quite a few interesting ones, democrats, repeblicans, doctors, sceintist , spam and then finnaly got to Jen's Blog . An Entry called Puppy Love . Really made me laugh my heart out when I acctualy sat frowing at the monitor waiting for a contact from work to finish of an assignment so i could get some sleep! Here goes the post, its just great.

I swear, it's too soon for this, isn't it?

Monday: Kait comes home upset, Ben told her she wasn't pretty. I told her she was, and to not talk to him.

Tuesday: Ben told Kait she wasn't nice, I repeated my statement from
the day before.

Wednesday: Guess who asked Kait to be his third girlfriend? Yup...Ben.

Oy.

Ohhh, and Jen thinks her life is boring! Two cute smart kids and one more on the way, defiantly not boring!

P.S - The Kids in the pic arn't Kait and Ben

Nikita Khrushchev vs Joseph Stalin

I didnt know about this until i read it on BBC's website, and I was awestruck. I read that particular article over and over and over again , guess i just couldnt belive it! BBC correspondent John Rettie broke the story and he reflects in how he managed to do it. Defiantly sounds like one of those KGB vs CIA film scripts.

One evening, early in March 1956, I was in my Moscow flat packing before leaving on holiday to Stockholm the following morning when the phone rang.

It was Kostya Orlov, a young Soviet citizen of my acquaintance, whose urgent voice I heard saying: "I've got to see you before you go."

I was reluctant, as it was getting late and I had to leave early for a break I was more than ready for.

For 10 days in February, Moscow's few Western correspondents had been covering the 20th Congress of the Soviet Communist Party, where "the cult of personality", a veiled reference to Stalin, was repeatedly denounced.

But the night after the congress formally closed, the party's Central Committee building was humming with activity into the early hours, its windows ablaze with light. Why, we wondered, after the congress was over?

Under Stalin, no Soviet citizen would have dared risk unauthorised contact with a foreigner And then the rumours began.

Khrushchev, it was said, had made a shattering report to a secret session, openly denouncing Stalin by name as a murderer and torturer of party members. This was so traumatic that it is now said some delegates had heart attacks during the speech, and others committed suicide afterwards.

Hearing the urgency in Orlov's voice, I invited him over at once.

KGB denial

In those days a Westerner was lucky to have any unofficial Soviet friends.

Born in Georgia in 1879, Stalin was the Soviet leader until 1953Under Stalin, no Soviet citizen would have dared risk unauthorised contact with a foreigner. It would have meant instant arrest as a suspected spy.

True, in the three years since his death, Moscow's citizens had relaxed somewhat under the warm glow of Khrushchev's "thaw", but not all that much. Fear still lurked only just beneath the surface, and Muscovites were still very wary.

But Orlov seemed quite unperturbed.

I had met him a year before and he had invited me to his single room in a communal dwelling, where so many Soviet citizens still lived in wretched conditions, a decade after World War II.
More often, though, he came to my flat in a block reserved for Westerners, whose entrance was guarded round the clock to keep Soviet citizens out.

But Orlov came and went without trouble, which made me suspect him of working for the KGB.
Naive, of course, I should have guessed that he definitely was, though he always hotly denied it, even 30 years later. But still, he had often given me useful scraps of information, though nothing
of great importance.

Midnight meetings

But this time it was different.

To avoid microphones, we tramped through the snow as I told him the whole tale
Without any notes, he launched into a detailed account of the very speech we had been hearing about, which was even more sensational than I had thought. He said it was being read to party meetings, and that a friend of his was a local party secretary who had let him see it.
But the question was: could I believe him?

Yes, it fitted in with what little we did know, and Orlov had been right about lesser matters before.

Still, I did not feel I could on my own break the censorship and file such an earth-shaking and dubiously sourced story from outside the country. What if it were a false plant?
The consequences could be dire, both for me and for Reuters.

In Moscow the thaw turned to deep freeze, and soon afterwards the KGB began to put pressure on me I called Sidney Weiland, who was my boss, and arranged to meet him at midnight.
To avoid microphones, we tramped through the snow as I told him the whole tale, pausing just now and then under street lights to consult my notes. And in the end we decided we did believe it.

Government 'pressure'

The next day I flew nervously to Stockholm with my notebook burning a hole in my pocket.
I asked Reuters to keep my name off the story and use a dateline other than Moscow. After all, I had to go back there and was desperate not to be suspected of breaking the censorship.

By then it was obvious to me that Orlov could not possibly have been acting on his own In the event nothing happened to me when I returned, until the autumn, that is, when shockwaves from the speech unleashed the Hungarian uprising, unrest all over Central Europe and even within the Soviet Union itself.

In Moscow the thaw turned to deep freeze, and soon afterwards the KGB began to put pressure on me. So I asked to be recalled to London, and never expected to go back to Moscow.
But 32 years later, in the new thaw of Mikhail Gorbachev, I did go back, this time for the Guardian newspaper.

By then it was obvious to me that Orlov could not possibly have been acting on his own.
So who had ordered that he should pass details of the speech to me?
Could it have been Nikita Khrushchev himself, who wanted the world to know that he had broken with Stalin?

Everybody I asked agreed that it probably was and I think so too, but will never find out for sure.

Source : BBC

Im still reading this in disbelief, I'm not a communist, nor am I a capitalist. I'm somewhere in the middle, though it is my personal belief that only a moderated Dictatorship can take a country anywhere, not a fully open democracy.

Starbucks Coffee is coming to India!

Well, I think the Seattle based company finally realized the potential that this market has. They launched the stores in china way back in 1999; did it actually take them 6 years to deicide that their coffee will sell in India? Especially in south India where the per capital consumption of coffee is close to 250mg!

But whatever be the case, they are going to be here pretty soon, and I am thoroughly going to enjoy that cup of coffee and a pastry before work in the morning! Starbucks still have not confirmed any plans, but they are here and they are here to stay. It’s going to be some massive competion between Starbucks and Barista when Starbucks finally arrives.

Starbucks buys a lot of coffee beans from TATA Coffee Ltd, Asia’s largest consolidated coffee company. Ironically, TATA coffee also owns more than 30% of Barista, India’s own version of Starbucks Coffee, but obviously the promoters deny that. Think about it, Coffee, the go out experience, Wi-Fi, music downloads next? See a pattern?

But the TATA owned Barista has a massive advantage, for one, they have all the prime real estate. Barista also has access to TATA Coffee’s roasters and plantation. Starbucks doesn’t have any roasters here in India, let alone in Asia! Barista’s coffee will also be a tad cheaper than Starbucks when it finally does arrive here, but I can’t say that for certain. But Starbucks has other plans.

"Starbucks has learned several lessons in China. One is that it really doesn't need to go after the masses. All it needs is the upper 10 percent of India's booming middle class to support a base of 100 stores and then go from there."

When asked about Starbucks’ entry into India, Union minister of state for commerce Jairam Ramesh said that he had been informed that it would be in collaboration with “a big name in real estate’. He hoped that all sections of the plantation industry welcome Starbucks’ entry as it would result in as a growth in domestic consumption which had remained largely stagnant and confined to Tamil Nadu despite the success of chains like Cafe Coffee Day and Barista. The Big name apparently is the leading real-estate entity Rahejas.

I just can’t wait for the day when I’m early to office and Starbuck’s is on the way!

Frustration

I don’t know what’s happening around me, it feels like I have no control over anything. People seem to be sidetracking me, be it in my personal or professional life. I feel lost and out of control. I’m working so hard , but there seems to be hardly any appreciation from any quarters, granted I do it for my self, and eventually I’m the one going to benefit from it all, but what about all those people who are directly or indirectly benefiting from what I’m doing?

From the first of February, I’ve only managed to average about three hours of sleep per day, been working straight for days on a row even, just getting a power nap in every so often. It’s really stressed me out, and decreased my ever decreasing capability to take stress, both mental and physical. My back seems ruined, I’m scared I have some dreaded broken bone or something of that sort. I walk with my hand on my hips, I’m only nineteen, but the actions make me look like I’m ninety.

I actually finished the whole thing with work much after the deadline, but I did. Well, people can’t ask me for the moon and expect me to deliver like as if it’s around the next block! Problems persist, but I actually put an end to it an hour ago, but wala! The guy doesn’t want it anymore, but that will change soon, I’m just pissed of he had to wait till I finished the whole thing to turn around and say he doesn’t want it anymore. It also gets annoying when you concentrating on work and half the office is asking you to finish lunch. But I am grateful that there are at least few people that are bothered about what goes in my tummy. With this thing going on I’m averaging about fifty sticks of cigarettes and about forty cups of tea a day, and my exercise schedule has been screwed up as well. Well, like they say, you’ve got to give some to get some.

Lately, well yesterday I had this feeling that I’m being too much of a pain to the people around me. I had three hours to sleep last night, but I couldn’t do even that thinking about how and why I’m such a pain. I try calling people and hardly anyone bothers to reply, or for that matter even reply to texts. I only wish people would tell me outright not to call them or text them, would make things much easier. I suppose sometimes you need to take hints. I’m not blaming anyone, can only blame myself. A friend called me yesterday , he said he was down and wanted me to come over and talk, but it was at such an odd time, half past five in the evening, I couldn’t get there because of work, but I couldn’t do much work either thinking about him. Met a new person yesterday, but we only spoke at length today, she’s just great! She’s one of a kind, doesn’t accept compliments and is a totally whacko, but really brought a smile on my face this morning, just when I needed it the most. My best mate is having a few problems with the boyfriend as well, but lets hope she’s able to sort them when she sees him this evening, just texted me saying she is on the way to see him. Another friend of mine also had a breakup with her boyfriend, a three year relationship broken in a day? Must be really hard, I really pity her, but she seems to be recovering.

I think I’m cribbing too much on here, should stop. On a lighter note, I’ve finished all my work and will have sometime to spare in the coming months, my passport is due for renewal on the 27th, which is also my mum’s birthday. I need to get that passport renewed and also get a nice little gift for my mum. I got a domain name registered for this blog, so pretty soon I’m moving this blog there. I seem to be skint by the way, so let’s see how it goes.


I Laugh Because I must not cry. That is all. That is all

Daya Nayak : The Encountered 'Encounter Specialist'

A typical Rags to Riches Story… Back to Rags again?

A young man from a backward district in a state called Karnataka in South India. A Brahmin ( Upper Class Hindu ) , studied partially and then moved in 1979 to the then city of Bombay (now Mumbai ) to make a living like most youth’s his age around the end of the 70’s. He started his career working at a small restaurant for a paltry pay, but the owner encouraged him to continue his education. He finished his graduation while still working for the same restaurant.

Pursued further education and got qualified to join the Indian Police. Joined the police formally in 1995 as a Sub-Inspector. While there, he worked his way into the who’s who of the Police and became much respected. He also got attached to the Criminal Intelligence Unit.

In his first year at office, he shot dead Devaraj Suarna and Rajesh Shetty of the Chota Rajan Gang.A year later, Shot dead two Babloo Shrivastav gang members and rescued kidnapped industrialists, and also recovered 4 pistols with a large quantity of ammunition and properties . In 1998, dangerous criminal Feroz Kokani, involved in several killings including that of MLA Ramdas Nayak, escaped from custody from J.J. Hospital by killing a Police Head Constable. Daya arrested the criminals who helped Feroz Kokani to escape. The operation succeeded in the seizure of AK 47 rifle, two automatic pistols and 38 live ammunitions too. Vinod Matkar of the Chota Rajan gang was killed in an encounter by Daya Nayak in 1999. Vinod was wanted in connection with several murders across countries. Christmas eve 1999, an Indian Airline was hijacked by a terrorist group in afgansitan. Withing four days of the hijacking, Daya Nayak arrested five persons with links to the hijackers. Wepons, Ammunition, Cash and a lot of respect for the indian government was recoverd. Tony William Rosario aka Antony , who was wanted in connection with extortion, kidnap , attempt to murders and murders, incuding that of some big name politicians was killed in an encounted with Daya Nayak in the beginning for 2001. Daya Nayak also arrested the criminals of Abu Salem gang who killed Ajit Dewani, a leading secretary to famous cine artistes. On October 31,2001, a senior officer of the Rationing Dept, Govt. of Maharashtra was killed at his residence in broad daylight. This murder had a great concern within the media and the common citizens. In less than six weeks on December 7,2001 Daya Nayak arrested criminals belonging to Chhota Rajan gang and this sensational case was solved. Daya busted an international gang of credit card frauders and arrested fifteen persons including NRIs, a Nigerian citizen and also seized counterfeit international credit cards of various foreign nationals. This is the first detection of such type in Asia. Fraud of crores of rupees has been stopped by this detection. Similarly, the ISI agency is also trying to destabilize Indian economy by circulating counterfeit currency in India. In March 2001, Daya Nayak arrested 14 persons and seized over one crore rupees in counterfeit foreign currency notes. The criminals in this case were convicted for ten years rigorous Imprisonment. While the organized crime in Mumbai is on falling trend, notorious don Abu Salem’s attempt to regain control over the underworld was also neutralized when four of his henchmen were killed in an encounter with Daya and his squad at Lokhandwala complex. The period between December 2002 and March 2003 Mumbai was rocked by series of bomb blasts. Daya unearthed the plot on 29 March 2003 when he along with his team eliminated three dreaded terrorists of the militant outfit Lashkar-e-Toiba on the Western Express Highway, Goregaon.

Daya Nayak has killed many big names of the Indian underworld in encounters, and eliminated many small members of the bigger gangs. He has arrested over 350 hardcore criminals and has captured the most number of forigen wepons. He has also siezed millions of dollors worth of cash and propertys from the underworld. As he’s famously been quoted “I have done 83 encounters. I have arrested more than 300 criminals. I have solved many big cases.” He began to be known as the ‘Encounter Specialist’

Daya Nayak also has friends in big place, be it Indian politics or Indian Cinema. Daya Nayak has helped to found a government school in his hometown in Karnataka, Which was inaugurated by Amitabh Bachchan amidst the presence of many other Bollywood personalities.

Now that was all the good that Daya Nayak had done, really proud that India had a cop that good, but wait, what happened now?

It was alleged, though not established, that the money used to build the school in his hometown was obtained through illegal means, primarily extortion. Daya Nayak is also accused of having huge underworld links, and to be on the pay rolls of many underworld dons, some of whom he has even tried eliminating. Colleagues inside the police department say that Daya Nayak always had an ‘I am bigger than the Commissioner’ attitude. Just recently, Daya Nayak was found to have assets more than his known sources of income, Flats in Switzerland, Foreign Holidays, Finance companies on his wife’s name and lots of other things to the tune of quite a few million. All this for a cop who’s monthly pay was Rupees 9000 (approximately 200 USD) ?

Daya Nayak was apparently ‘on the run’, but presented himself immediately when a session’s court summoned him in this regard. He has been suspended from the Police Force, and his old friends are now turning into foes. Daya Nayak has been running in and out of court , facing bail applications, rejections and facing a lot of legal hurdles.

Did what he do is right? Do Indian cops need to be paid more so they aren’t lured by big bucks from the underworld? Well, that’s another story for another time .

Kids are smart, but SO Smart?

random jokes: Kids are so Smart

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHOM TO MARRY?

You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. -- Alan, age 10

No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with. -- Kristen, age 10


WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then-- Camille, age 10

No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married. -- Freddie, age 6 (very wise for his age)


HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling
at the same kids. -- Derrick, age 8


WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

Both don't want any more kids. -- Lori, age 8


WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.--Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure)

On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date. -- Martin, age 10


WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?

I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.--Craig, age 9


WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

When they're rich. -- Pam, age 7

The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess
with that - - Curt, age 7

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.--Howard, age 8


IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

I don't know which is better, but I'll tell you one thing. I'm never going to have sex with my wife. I don't want to be all grossed out.--Theodore, age 8

It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. -- Anita, age 9 (bless you child)


HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?

There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?--Kelvin,age 8


And the #1 Favorite is........
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.--Ricky, age 10

Well, my answers to these questions would be humbled in front of what these kids have said.Im not even going to a attempt it! But its really suprising that kids could comeip with stuff like that ?

"Grown-ups never understand anything for themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them."
Antoine de Saint-Exupery (1900 - 1944), "The Little Prince", 1943

A little confused about men on Fire..

John's Incoherent Ramblings: Privatisation taken a step too far?

Rural firefighters stood by and watched a fire destroy a garage and a vehicle because the property owner, who was injured battling the flames, had not paid membership dues.

Monett Rural Fire Department Chief Ronnie Myers defended the policy, saying the membership-based organization could not survive if people thought the department would respond for free. The department said it will fight a fire without question if a life is believed to be in danger.

Monett Rural Fire Department responded to the scene but did not fight the fire. Firefighters stood by from the road as the fire burned itself out, watching in case the flames spread to neighboring properties owned by members.

[The home-owner] offered to pay ... but the Monett department does not have a policy for on-the-spot billing.

I Read an article on John's blog,and it reminded me about a recent incident that was highly debated on by the indian media and public. A man who tried immolating himself in public, and the cammeraman decided to shoot the footage and show it live on primetime television, rather than save the man's life.

Rajdeep Sardesai: Journalists or Fire-Fighters?

The latest debate on media ethics though is a little more complex. It's been sparked off by a news story that showed a man self-immolating in the heart of Patiala. The visual images were compelling: a trader with garlands around his neck, pouring kerosene over his body, and then set himself aflame. He was surrounded by a police man, fellow-traders, the aam janta and of course, the ubiquitous camera. There was a debate on CNN-IBN between celebrated photographer Raghu Rai and media watcher Akhila Sivadas that raised crucial questions. The two central ones: should the camera crew be focusing on saving the life of the man instead of keeping the camera rolling? Secondly, should television channels be showing the pictures in the first place as a lead story in the news?

Really makes me wonder what we as a human race value more! Its life on one side, Money, Entertainment,Memberships, Prime time news and live coverage on the other ? It looks like the latter is in the lead.

Rethink and Recap...

With the stress of work, and the time constraint of only twenty fours hours in a day, I have decided that I am going to put an end to my other blogs on the net, and start putting everything on this one, from personal life, to life in the office and all the other stuff I write about.

Life’s been alright, a little on the tougher side, but a crisis always helps. Hardly got sleep the last two weeks, been working on a big project. Its something that’s going to make or break me, and at the moment, looks like its breaking me. I’ve been struggling to finish the task, plenty of hurdles along the way, software’s not working, quality not being maintained and a lot of other worries. But I see the end is close, and it’s going to be a great ending. Also had some new recruitment’s at work, surprised to see that there are hardly any available candidates for ‘sales’ but so many of them around for technical jobs. One weird world we live in, everyone says IT is booming, but what about the employment it’s generating? Doesn’t look like its doing much good!

Outside of the office, whenever I get the time, I’m trying to make some new bonds, and lighten up older ones. It’s great to see how some people use their time effectively. Most people my age, the people I grew up with and studied with, are at an important phase in their lives. My best mate just got into a new relationship, really happy for her. But only today, she got sacked after a week of. Silly reasons I bet, she was a good worker. Politics at the workplace always ruins everything. Also been in touch with quite a few people from my alma mater, the place I spent fourteen years studying in, the place that molded me into what I am today. Everyone seems to be doing pretty well, Doctors, Engineers, Graduates in commerce, Economics, arts, history, math, statistics and what not!

Found a few great people, haven’t talked much to them before, but they seem like great people to communicate with. I’ve also been in touch with some really good friends of mine, but they are going through a very tough patch. Suicide, Drugs, Parole , Depression. You think it, and they are struggling with it. All I can do is stand on the sideline and yell “Look after yourself”, what else can I say?

A mixed week that went by. Don’t know what much to say, but I am really looking forward to taking this new challenge that I have at work on in my stride. Am eagerly awaiting 27th of February, the big day for Indian economics, commerce and trade. The Day of the Indian Budget!

Poetry

Was reading some blogs when I cam accross this one randomly, A lil more 4 dreaming and I noticed that there was some really good poetry that lass had written. Went through my files and took out some poetry that I had written a while ago .

The First one is my first ever poetry that really came from the heart. I did something that I thought wasnt right, or rather didnt do something that I should have done. One long and hard tuesday night, nothing I could do to help anyone on that day, but I should have. It is another day that I have made myself rember, the 19th of July 2005, a day that from now on , I will force myself to value my friends and my family and everything they do for me. I call this one "Guilty"

Guilty

When they call the roll in the Senate,

the Senators do not know

whether to answer 'Present' or 'Not guilty'

When they call an accused name in court,

thier lawyers tell them if to awnser "Guilty" or "Not Guilty"

When the lord calls on the last day

We will all think if to plead "Guilty" or "Not Guilty"

But everytime i see my friend,

Im sure I will feel so very guilty.

You needed sound

something that would help you drift,

But all i gave was silence

Its a little bit off the leftovers from my adolescence.

You did so much for me,

I would say let it be,

but you would push until i said it all

and put me in an everlasting enthral.

I can never thank you enough for that

But i havnt done enough to prove that

either to you or to me

I'm Sorry....I plead guilty

The second one I call "Feel Like Running Away", I wrote this one evening when everything I did seem to go against me, and if it didnt go against me, I had people who would make it work against me. That is a day I can never forget, the 21st of July 2005.

Feel Like Running Away

When I wake up in the morning

And the hardest thing is breathing

And in my head, my life I'm watching

The past, present and future all scrambling

Where it hurts to see the past snagging

The present is only smelting

And the future looks reprimanding.

It hurts to see how my life is shaping,

It hurts to see how near and dear

Can hurt themselves without even knowing

And all I do is shed a tear

I would say how I feel about it all

But all that will do will create a big fall

And I would only be misunderstood.

I feel so helpless, so miserable

I try to show people that they are special

Because they are, I've solved that puzzle

But why is life so brutal?

Everything so dismal?

I feel like running away

Pull my car along a speedway

Leave my world behind

But what do I need to find?

I will never know until I go

And look in the shallow

They say soon comes doomday

I don't know, I just want to run away!

I have not really written to much more interesting stuff after that, some of it I woudlnt like to share. But overall , poetry is something that fasicnates me. Theres a lot of people that write good poetry, my only wish is that I get access to all those lines and rhymes written , some on paper, some on leaf..some put on a weblog, all those that are forever hidden inside the heart.......

Like Edith Sitwell said , "Poetry is the deification of reality."

Your own worse critic...

The past week has been busy, and the one ahead is expected to be twice as busy. While on the pc at about 5 am in the morning, I randomly came across a blog of a friend. She was basically talking about knowing if she was happy with what she was doing etc, and it struck me that I don’t know if I’m happy with what’s happening around me as well. About an hour later, I came across a test on one website, The Happiness Test. Decided to do it and find out, so here go the results.

Your own worse critic

You're not a very happy bunny are you? You try hard, you're well meaning, but inside you is that little voice that screams 'I'm not good enough'.In short, your lack of happiness is down to what's happening inside you - you never feel contented because you are always striving for maximum success and even if you reach it, you don't feel you deserve to enjoy it. But happiness isn't something that you get just by hard work.

Yes, reaching goals and getting where you want in life is important, but to be truly happy, you need to be at peace with yourself. People who are at peace with themselves generally do much more and much better in life than those who try hard all the time. Learn to value what you do and you'll not only feel happier, you'll also be more effective.

Steel

I got in the office this morning, and someone was talking about steel and the offer from Mittal Steel to take over Arcelor at a compensation of close to USD 25 billion. Steel, its something we take for granted, after all its all around us, why a normal person would value something like that. What is steel after all?

A metal alloy of mostly iron plus carbon, harder than pure iron but malleable when hot. Carbon acts as a hardening agent, preventing iron atoms, which are naturally arranged in a crystal lattice, from sliding past one another.Varying the amount of carbon and its distribution in the alloy controls qualities such as the hardness, elasticity, ductility, and tensile strength of the resulting steel. Steel with increased carbon content can be made harder and stronger than iron, but is also more brittle. Going by the clasical definition though, steel is an iron-carbon alloy with 2.1% off carbon by wieght. An alloy with more than 2.1% carbon are called cast iron. But lately, new classes of steels are being manufactured, ones in which carbon is undesirable.

The major raw materials for steel , like mentioned before, are Iron and Carbon. Iron is , like most other metals, found in the earths crust. Iron is always found in the crust with sulphur or oxygen.Iron is extracted from the ore, and comined with carbon which is generally the preffered chemical partner. From there on, the Iorn pelets are used and alloyed with different metals / chemicals to form different types off alloys, steel bieng the most important one.

Iorn and steel making have a very long history, close to some six thousand years. The first sign off using iron comes from egypt, where small items like the tips off wepons and ornuments were made using an iron-nickle alloy. Also in about 1000 BC, the uncontacted america was known to use metoric iron to make harpoons and other such wepons and were traded amongst the artic people.Ironicly, the ancient people used to call iron the ‘sky metal’ and cocidered suitible for royal ornuments.

Then came the steel age, between 3000 BC and 2000 BC, with a massive increase in the number off smelted iron objects. Iron started bieng used in ornamental wepons, jewelry, wepons , The early Hittites are known to have bartered iron for silver, at a rate of 40 times the iron's weigh, with Assyria. Because off the percived value, iron didn’t replace bronze as the chief metal used for wepon and tool making.

Many countries and civilisations started using iron, China and India included. But the most famous form of steel, Damascus Steel , that was developed around the ninth century by blacksmiths of the Abbasid caliphate. These steel blades were known for their flexibility and sharpness. Sadly, the secret of forging this kind of steel was lost, even in the Middle East, by around 1600. Steel making played a major role in the making of Europe and also facilitated the Industrial Age.

Englishmen, Sir Henry Bessemer (1813-1898) invented the first process for mass-producing steel inexpensively, essential to the development of skyscrapers. An American, William Kelly, had held a patent for "a system of air blowing the carbon out of pig iron" a method of steel production known as the pneumatic process of steelmaking. Air is blown through molten pig iron to oxidize and remove unwanted impurities. Bankruptcy forced Kelly to sell his patent to Bessemer, who had been working on a similar process for making steel. Bessemer patented "a decarbonization process, utilizing a blast of air" in 1855. Modern steel is made using technology based on Bessemer's process. Bessemer was knighted in 1879 for his contribution to science.

The "Bessemer Process" for mass-producing steel, was named after Bessemer.Some other methods off steel production include Crucible technique or puddling ,the original steel making technique, developed in India as wootz, used in the Middle East as Damascus steel and independently redeveloped in Sheffield by Benjamin Huntsman in 1740, and Pavel Anosov in Russia in 1837, Open Hearth Furnace , Basic Oxgen Steel making and the Electric Arc furnace.

In todays world, large companies control the steel markets globaly. The most notable of which are Mittal Steel, Arcelor, Nippon Steel , JFE Steel, TATA Steel, SAIL , Corus , Riva , Pohang Works and quite a few others. Most of these companies were running losses during the ressesion in the steel market during 1997 – 2001 , it was only after this period that steel prices started shooting up due to the increasing demand for steel in China and other developing nations. Increasing costs off production ensured a higher per tonne profit for the producers. Global consolidation is also expected to take place, with about 25 odd mergers and take overs in the iron and steel industry expected to take place by the end off 2007. The latest offer by Mittal Steel to take over Arcelor came as a rude shock to all industry observers.CFO of Mittal Steels , Aditya Mittal , who is also Head off Mergers and Acquisitions , is known to me dynamic and extreemy aggressive. There have been quite a few harsh words been spoken, and a war of words is going on, but like Chuck Norris said, Men are like steel: when they lose their temper, they lose their worth. Most steel firms fear hostile offers from other competitors. Steel prices are meant to be on the rise for quite sometime to come, but a slight correction is expected after consolidation takes place, Those steel prices will, however, still be relatively high by past standards.